Sunday, January 31, 2016

Voltage Tournament 2016: Cupid's Lovestruck Valentine: Ren

Voltage Tournament 2016: Cupid's Lovestruck Valentine: Ren
so this as it states in the summary is pretty much what happens LOL it's cute to see Ren affectionate, idk i have this huge soft spot for him ever since 7 Rings & yeah idk why i bought this sub story tbh it felt like a sweet cafe story, you know what i mean? like short & sweet, but not worth buying?? but it's okay, i love Ren. it didn't come with a cg ): but i guess the Voltage Tournament 2016 pictures we get from sweet cafe make up for that.

here are those pictures of some of my faves from the Voltage Tournament 2016:



Saturday, January 30, 2016

Whole Food's Market

i had this for lunch. it was okay lol i like their other foods better. the lemonade was good though & as usual the chowder was decent too, but i've had better.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

My Last First Kiss: Sub Story: Drunk on You~ Ayato, Ichiya, Makoto & Takamune

My First Last Kiss: Sub Story: Drunk on You~
so OMG... I LOVED THESE SUBSTORIES. LIKE i recommend to get, like 9/10! i really won't spoil anything because ah it's just so much feels. OVERALL THO, it really shows the friendship with the childhood friends squad, i love it, so cute & how the guys act when they're drunk.
how the guys were drunk:
Ayato: SO HONEST & open with his feelings.
Ichiya: handsy REAL HANDSY.
Mako: AGGREESIVE OMG TEASINGLY AGGREESIVE, I LIVE.
Taka: CLINGY so cute! omg.. ;___;
overall, i loved it, if i haven't said that enough or expressed it well. ichiya isn't someone i like, but reading this sub story i was like this was actually okay! ah! i can so reread this so many times. i can't wait for the riku & hiro one & there will probably be a CG for all this by then hopefully! i am so ready for MFLK updates in February!

End of January Haul

books & cookies

books about poems & my favorite girl scout cookies~

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Gundam

to me personally, building gundams is like relaxing. all my focus is on the end product & how well i focused on following instructions to get the model i want looking nice. i love the satisfying feeling of when you're done, it's like ah yes.. all my hard work & fingers feeling pain for this beauty of a figurine to display in my room. it's also a nice reminder of my childhood, when my uncle would build these for me because as a kid i didn't understand & would just pop all the pieces out & then have no idea what you were suppose to do, my uncle was smart enough to figure out piece by piece. such fond memories of a simple time. so yeah, i built a new one of my faves, yes, i have like so many of this same type of gundam, the winged gundam, but it truly is my favorite since forever. thanks to my dear friend @elysepham for gifting me this as an early birthday present~ i'm so thankful!

Friday, January 22, 2016

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

My Last First Kiss: Hiroki Eniwa Season 1





My First Last Kiss: Hiroki Eniwa Season 1
MAIN STORY: -cracks knuckles- & -takes a deep breath- OKAY! wow.. this route. okay, if you've read my past MFLK reviews, you would think, "this girl ain't gonna buy hiro's route" WELP, i did! after my friend we'll call her M incase she doesn't want to be named on here, played it first & told me i'd probably like it. also i saw screencaps & i was like shit.. this seems good. at first i was iffy, bc ngl he seemed like so mean to the MC in other routes like mako's but omg... OH MY GOD. this route at first you're like okay he's treating her like a child, but she really was BUT OH MY GOD *SPOILER* THEY SLEPT TOGETHER IN THE 3RD CHAPTER!!! I WAS SCREAMING OMG! IT WAS SO LIKE OMG THIS IS WHAT I PAID FOR YAAAASSSSSS! anyways, they start this FWB relationship, he told her not to get attached & such, so through all this the MC tried her best to keep work & personal life separated. you get to see her mature through all this honestly, they do it twice in this route & it's like WHO NEEDS A STAY THE NIGHT ANYWAYS?? THOSE GET COCKBLOCKED ANYWAYS??? but yeah, course MC wants more & gets greedy with her feelings towards him. there's a lot more like work stuff that happens but i don't wanna spoil too much because honestly tbh everyone should play this route BC IT'S HER FIRST LOVE OKAY THE MAIN REASON BASIS OF THE STORY ENTIRELY! the MC tells him she wants to date & he said ok. so they go on a cruise together, but then like you see that he's kinda so fakey putting on this front of being perfect. MC tells him that she loves him no matter what etc. CAUSE IT'S HER FIRST LOVE OKAY IM CRYING BC SHE LOVES HIM SO MUCH I FEEEEEEEL LIKE HE GAVE HER A BUNNY PLUSH AS A KID & AS AN ADULT I WANTED TO CRY. yadada stuff happened, he usually never brings girls to his home, but he brought the MC there. THEN THEY BROKE UP CAUSE HE'S BEEN SHADY LIKE HE WAS LIKE K, BYE. BROKEN AF the MC just continues to just work hard to prove to him she's an adult. MORE STUFF HAPPEN THAT I DON'T FEEL LIKE SPOILING... BUT YAH IN THE END THEY'RE AT THE THEME PARK & HE FINDS HER & OMFG CONFESSSSES!!!!!!! GAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! MY HEART STRINGS WAS PULLED SO MUCH, i was so moved by how he realize she truly loves him for him, not him being the prince she made him out to be etc. if you get the good ending you get him at conte with the other guys & OMG HE'S SO PROTECTIVE I WAS LIKE OMFG LUV TRIANGLE BETWEEN HIM & AYATO PLS, he told them that he has their princess now, i was like omfg omfggggggg. this main story was great, honestly, i didn't expect to like him, but i ended up liking him. i feel like what the MC did just to be close with the guy she loves so much, her first love! since forever.. tbh i'd do that too, even if it's unrequited, so i felt like i could relate. so i felt so much for her in this route, but i loved the character development you got to see her mature in this way better per say ayato's route, where she was just kinda whatever, it was cute, but she didn't grow up much. i felt like she really became a braver adult with her feelings.

*SPOILERS*

It's A Date: OMG the mc was so excited for their date, she made lunch boxes.. i was like aw so pure.. like a shoujo manga.. but then she felt like that was immature & didn't want hiro to think she's childish. but then he finds out after their spa date & takes her to eat the lunches bc he saw it & she was surprised to see a new side of him, one who doesn't like carrots but would eat it just for her. it was overall so cute... like ugh MY FEELS. WHEN SHE DIDN'T WANNA LEAVE HIM JUST YET & HE PUTS HIS FACE UP CLOSE TO HER AFTER PUTTING HER ON HIS CAR IM LIKE OMFG IM CRYING SO HARD. MY FEELINGS! PANG IN THE HEART.

Stay The Night: I HATE THESE USUALLY CAUSE NOW I KNOW THEY'RE ALL JUST COCKBLOCKED STORIES. anyways they go on a trip with all the other co workers, but lately they've been sexless, so the MC feels like something is wrong. yadada they went to pick strawberries away from everyone. lied to their co workers, then she still felt empty, so she went to the hot bath, but then she has to hide into hiro bc other men are there & men are only ones allowed after midnight. the MC is obviously freaking out & burning up, but hiro doesn't seem to be, which makes her sad. she then woman's up & asks to go to his room & then tells him what's been wrong & OMG HE TELLS HER HE'S NEVER HAD SUCH A SINCERE LOVE, SO HE WANTED TO BE CAREFUL WITH HER & I WAS BAWLING AT THIS POINT, IM LIKE OMFG MY HEART!!!!!! THEY THEN ABOUT TO GET IT ON, BUT OF COURSE, COCKBLOCKED... SO HE SAID RAINCHECK~ but the MC at least felt better she got all those worries off her chest. she then goes to his house the next time, where he makes some fruity lemon soup & OMFG HE LOOKS SO GOOD BYE WORLD! then he tells her to find out what lemon means since strawberries mean eternal love or something like that & well the MC finds out later on that lemon means pure love & she's internally freaking out at work & hiro just typical hiro at work, makes her burn up even more inside hahahaahah!!! GAHHHH I LOVED THIS ROUTE, SEASON 2 FOR THEM ALL PLS COME OUT SOON, I CAN'T WAIT~!!!

ALSO JUST WANTED TO MAKE NOTE: PLEASE STOP SLUT SHAMING THE MC THIS ROUTE! WTF, she's not like sleeping around with taken men, she's literally with the person she loves.. & it's already painful enough it's unrequited but rly? like saying how she was a slut this route is like calling her saori... saori is a shady hoe if u read the POV then you know she tried to get at hiro, so honestly don't be a shady hoe wrecking other people's relationships. it's not wrong either to sleep with multiple people, you do you boo. who cares. if they were real people, just think it's their lives.. not yours.. lol don't be mean to people!

past memories & creamery pop







both places overall okay, i'd go back to past memories to drink probably & try their other foods, it was on the pricer end of korean food, but you get a hella lot for what you pay~ the blue bottle i got from whole's food. i had a nice night with my friend asia^^

Monday, January 18, 2016

hello... it's me.

160118.
so last night my parents triggered my suicidal thoughts again. firstly, i've been okay, happy & accepting that i am more on the chubbier side of the body spectrum, but i never saw anything wrong with it. things that trigger me are my weight & asking me what i'm doing with my life, etc. so since that was brought up, telling me i'm lazy & making excuses to not go to the gym, my thoughts were really? like honestly? they don't know how it feels to be me everyday feeling stressed out as it is already.. there are more important things i'm stressed out about right now honestly! so i left & went home to cry, i cried while driving, which i hate doing because honestly. my brother asked me why i was crying & i told him & he ended up lecturing me telling me shit about how if i'm okay with how i am then i wouldn't have reacted but honestly if you're called a pig all your life & told how you would look better slimmer, you would feel the pain of the words, he went on to tell me how he doesn't give a shit about what people say about him & i'm like well that's good for you, but i'm not you & i care about every fucking thing.. which was honestly the turning point of wanting to die because he told me i do this all the time, my typical escape from this world is just wanting to die. i can't even talk to my own family about how i feel & it's sad that sometimes my friends who comfort me through most of these suicide incidents feel more caring. anyways, i tried to overdose on my sleeping meds & woke up this morning, so another failed attempt, i honestly really wanted to die last night & i didn't care. i didn't think i'd have an incident like this so early in the year. i turn 21 in 3 weeks & i really didn't think i would be ending being 20 feeling like shit. my mental illness is a stigma to this family honestly. it's not taken seriously as it should sometimes. it feels like they act like it's a made up thing. i feel this need to cut my arms to feel a release of some sorts, but i won't do that. i would get a bad keloid scarring if i live through it.

i honestly think i was suppose to die this morning though, at around 4am. i felt this really real dream of my uncle, who's dead. going through my door with the dog & was about to toss the dog on me to wake me up, but didn't because he said i'm ocd clean & would probably freak out. so he left through the door again literally going through it without opening it. which was weird to me since my door was locked last night too, which i don't normally do but i didn't want my family to find my dead body right away if i had successfully died.

i'm honestly thankful for all my friends who've comforted me through all this, really. i feel such warmth from all their kind words & such. i feel sorry sometimes that they have to have a person like me in their lives though, i feel like a burden, even if they tell me i'm not & try to remind me that i'm a good person & such, i really am thankful for them.

so here i am today, January 18th 2016. i feel numb. why am i still here?

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

new year, same me.

new year, same me.
13 days into this new year & i still feel lost as ever, but slowly trying to figure it out. hopefully i get to where i wanna be. been doing YouTube lately, been looking over my old raps lately, been planning on going back to school for shits again lately.. my ig been looking kinda gloomy, so i hope to get it brighter soon. i feel like it reflects my mood a bit in a sense.. so i hope to pick myself up from this little slump i'm in, i don't wanna get to low again & lose sight of what's really important is being happy & that my makeup game has gotten better TBH~ haha

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Enchanted in The Moonlight: Sub Story: Snowflake Kisses - Miyabi & Shinra Part I & II



Enchanted in The Moonlight: Sub Story: Snowflake Kisses Part I & II
Miyabi: ah! i feel like whenever it's miyabi it's always mostly fluff for storyline parts then hella lot of smut.. LOL which i don't mind at all HAHA his POV showed how cute & thoughtful he is even if he seems arrogant at times & then hikobei POV showed what a loyal servant he is to miyabi haha but yeah ah, miyabi... the smut.. i can't.. i believe it was worth buying both parts for him if he's your fave in EITML
Shinra: i love shinra.. he's such a sweet baby angel.. i love him so much, but tbh they didn't give him enough smut, it was mostly fluff LOL like yeah it was cute & you felt aw a lot, but you could tell all the efforts for this sub stories were on miyabi's route than his ): seriously can we just get his season 2 yet, bc i love him. he cares SOO much for the MC.

Friday, January 8, 2016

CES 2016






Another fun year checking out what's new in the electronic world~ got to meet an OG import model from my middle school days, jeri lee & pwned dudes at street fighter. i had lots of fun & my favorite picture honestly is with the first order stormtroopers.. LOL